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Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
--Anais Nin

This is the new me, the me who is aborning. Very few people know that she even exists. She's the person who isn't defined primarily as The Mommy. She's more in touch with her body than the old me was. She's more nurturing towards herself in general. She has healthy boundaries, and she is striking out in new directions. If I've added you as a friend, you know who I am, but I'd prefer that you not mention this journal to anyone I haven't chosen to add personally.

It isn't terribly difficult for anyone who knows me to find this, of course - I won't pretend it's secure. If you're someone who "found it" on your own, don't bother crowing. There are some obvious connections.

This journal is, more and more, where I post about the parts of me that I've neglected for the last few years - spirituality, sensuality, writing, creativity, and, yes, who I am other than K's Mommy or someone's partner.

Call it dysfunctional if you will, but I feel freer to do so when I'm not thinking about my daughter reading some things. I'm very sex-positive, and the conversations we've had would make many people's hair curl, but talking about things that happened when I was her age, sex in general, safer sex, etc. is very different than talking about now - emotionally, for me, it is. And I think it's a healthy boundary to maintain.

I have no illusions about the true "security" of using a different journal and friends-only posts. They are, however, enough to avoid having her accidentally read these entries. As she respects my wishes in this, that's enough.

There are other people, adults, who would have far more interest in knowing what I've written here. I'm sure they can find ways to read the entries. I'll deal with it. I ask that you not make it easier for them. If you do so, you'll be the one who will have to deal with being a dishonorable person.